yeah its a long time coming. Should have done it sooner tbh. Oh well. My apologies to everyone. if anyone would like to stay in touch, here is my personal, and from there you can ask for my Skype or something. Rping just isn’t what it used to be. Throughout the time here i have gained friends, albeit losing a few as well. but I digress. I’d delete, but for some reason i can’t bring myself to do so. Who knows, i might come back and try a fresh start, but until then, i’m afraid this is goodbye.
Boring ooc post;
If you’re tagged in this post, then we currently have a tracked rp on my blog. Before I do any of the other replies that I owe, I would like to know if these rps will be continued. I know I’ve been slacking on my end, but I’d like to change that if given the opportunity. So if you’d like to continue our thread, just like this post. I’ll get to work right away. I’ll wait a few weeks or so just in case people are busy with real life. If there is anything you’d like to discuss, or inquire for a personalized apology for my mediocracy, drop me a line. Thank you.
Not even seconds had the treat been placed down and Lilynette was already wolfing the ice cold treat down. No care was given as she made a dent in the delicious ice cream given to her, you’d have thought that with her parents she’d know manners… but yet here the girl was without a care in the world as she ate. Nimble hands gripping the metal spoon that kept going from the ice cream to her mouth, it was incredulous that almost half of the food had already been ingested by the small girl before him. Even so the petite female had a rather large appetite and it had become clear within the past few moments.
Almost forgetting she met his gaze stopping in her tracks of conquering the treat before her. “Eh… thanks” mumbling her thanks to him she continued to devour the treat, she was not going to stop until it was all residing inside her stomach that was for sure. All in all Lilynette was rather happy even with the thought of eating properly after this, her mind was slowly sinking in the process that maybe she could be happy again. Just maybe she might get a shot of having a loving family… someone there to be proud of her. Even with her abrasive nature and the rough personality she held, even she wanted someone to be proud of her.
"Tch I don’t get stomach aches!" A rather offended tone came across when he mentioned the thought of a stomach ache, not once had she suffered from said ache and that was how it was going to go.
I wonder what his home is like…
Thoughts began to wander as her curiosity began to peak interest into how his home would be. Would it be spotless? Would it be dirty? What about a bachelor pad? Or would it be a home? Sighing softly she let her spoon his the now empty bowl, her thoughts had brought an uneasiness in the pit of stomach… would this work? Could they really make it work between them?
"Is this really going to be okay?"
His facial expression remained stagnant as he consumed his treat at a much slower pace. Ice cream was hardly something he enjoyed, but he figured that he might as well should have some. He guessed it was worth trying if Lily was so into it, for whatever reasons she had. It was a slight surprise to hear the petite girl utter an appreciation for what he had done for her, but was pleasant to hear none the less. He had heard many other people utter the phrase, but it was more bland, like an old record repeating itself. Her meek tone that was used was obvious that she was truly appreciative of what he had done. It was probably the first time he had heard it in that manner.
"….Don’t mention it." He muttered blandly. Old habit died hard, and it was more than a few years since he had shown any excitement, or happiness. A taste here or there, and Starrk despite having a much smaller amount of the frozen treat, managed to somehow finish at about the same time as his niece. It wasn’t long after that in which the pair was once again walking back to the destination that they had set out for since the airport. The mental glance back reminded the brunette that he would have to go back for his car. A sigh of distaste for the task was momentarily released before grey eyes reopened to look about the area in order to determine their distance from his apartment. It wasn’t long before Lilynette spoke again, this time her words filled with worry and uncertainty.
It was enough to make the older of the two pause for a second. His mind swarmed with the concerns that came along with accepting her into his life, but as they always were, he brushed them aside. Starrk was never one to worry. But it seemed that Lily was, and he needed to calm her before continuing. Going down on one knee, he placed a hand on her shoulder gently, eyes not yet making contact with hers.
"…Truth be told….I don’t know." He started after a short period of silence. "But we’ve gotta try our best." If anyone knew what it was like to be left alone in the world, it was him. And the brunette was not about to let his only relative go through the same, especially not at that age. She had, kid things to worry about. Not something that bared such weight down on one’s shoulder that it could cause even the strongest men to break. Cold might be a word to describe him, but he was not heartless. He was going to hold on and help her through better or worse, even if it killed him.
’Cause nothin’ lasts forever
And we both know hearts can change
And it’s hard to hold a candle
In the cold November rain
Many a time had passed in the Primera’s life time, or rather, second life time. One that he lived out in solitude without another to accompany him. But that wasn’t even the worst suffering he had endured. The most pain was when he had found someone to share his time with. Even in a platonic mutual relationship, it was more than he could have asked for from an individual. In reality he had only hoped for such that there was one that could come near his person without perishing at the feeling of his enormous strength. That alone, that fact brought the slightest hope to his empty being. Once one that favored his company came around, despite now showing such feelings, he enjoyed and cherished such time, even going so far as the thinking back to it in times of loneliness that he had returned to.
We’ve been through this such a long long time
Just tryin’ to kill the pain
But lovers always come and lovers always go
An no one’s really sure who’s lettin’ go today
But in the end, it only caused pain. They would leave, be it for known reasons or not. Some died, from age, disease, or battle. That wasn’t the worst part. It was when they had simply disappeared, without rhyme or reason. Had it been his own fault or not, Starrk had never known. And upon falling asleep, once his sanctuary to the plagued life that he lived, was not swarmed with thoughts and ideas as to what could have possibly happened. Their last meeting replaying over, as if to search for hints as to why they left. He never brought himself to pursue the departed companion, seeing as it was rather obvious that they no longer wished for his presence. He was not one to force it upon them. In the end, he always felt as if he deserved such a crushing fate.
If we could take the time
To lay it on the line
I could rest my head
Just knowin’ that you were mine
So if you want to love me
Then darlin’ don’t refrain
Or I’ll just end up walkin’
In the cold November rain
Perhaps it was something in his past life that caused him to become damned to such a degree. It was to the point that he felt as if the hole in his chest was slowly increasing in size, consuming him with the pain of his solitude. No such luck. It remained the same each time he awake in a cold sweat. Alone. Each time he regained consciousness was a curse on its own, as he was no longer in the company of Lilynette, who had seemed to have disappear since the war. With that, brought the greatest pain to him. But as it always went, as if a vicious cycle that the lone wolf had found himself a part of, he deserved it. And so he watched from great distances as other’s banded together, being able to remain within each other’s presence. His fate consumed him without a chance for the Espada to fight back. Because with each swing of his blade, it only got shorter, cut down by his own efforts.
Don’t ya think that you need somebody
Don’t ya think that you need someone
Everybody needs somebody
You’re not the only one
You’re not the only one
His story was indeed sad, he would only speak if she asked further, not that she minded this way of conversation. Even that it was claimed that Arrancar and Espada were soulless and unemotional, after the war it was evident that all the mere informations gathered by one fraction were not true. Subjective. It was distasteful. Why Starrk still answered her Retsu did not know, if it was his attempt to simply speak what he felt or if he felt the need to answer.
"I don’t want to make you feel uncomfortable." He was hesitant and reluctant, the things he had spoken, even if he seemed calm, were more than he wanted to give. "I understand why you are sceptic of my claim, i would react the same in your position." Unohana at least tried to give him what he actually seemed to seek the most - understanding. Letting his next statement cross her mind, she sighed lightly, recalling how Kyoraku spoke of him - especially when the girl vanished. “I see. I cannot tell you that i understand how you felt when she was obliterated, this war has given you too much sorrow it seems.” If he would back away from her statement, she would let him - he had explained openly more than he actually should to her.
He had simply hoped that the captain’s curiosity had been fulfilled. Talking wasn’t his strong suit. Much less talking about his past, it wasn’t exactly something that he was eager to do. But the words he recently spoke were given as a sign of respect to Unohana. Upon finishing, a silent sigh was given. Perhaps a sign that he was a bit relieved to have finished speaking. Now he could only wonder how she would respond, albeit it would be short lived, as her words soon were spoken.
A gentleness was about her voice, the likes of which he hadn’t heard from anyone else. Still, he maintained a mental distance, an ever so subtle guard remaining up, no matter what. The 4th captain spoke as if she understood his strife. Starrk found that hard to believe. Although her strength was great, it wasn’t enough to force solitude upon her. There was something else about her that was unknown. Until her final words. Obliterated. No, that wasn’t possible. “…You’re lying.” A stoic, but firm voice would break the silence. There was on way Lilynette could have died. Not without him. There was no such thing as half a soul living alone. Of course they were maintained separate bodies, but there was a link between them. Death could only take them together.
Again the mammoth repeated the other’s words in his head, over and over, trying to udnerstand and process them completely. His own beliefs? Well, shit. He often stood by his own beliefs even when he followed others. And, admittedly, he hated the concept Aizen stood for. He just wanted a safe place to keep his family, not some otherworldly god-king to reestablish his place over the Seireitei - or whatever else it was Aizen wanted. He couldn’t quite remember or be sure at the moment.
"Huuh," he sighed, rubbing his face once more, peeling his lower eyelid down just a little further in thought, "Well. I ain’t too keen on one man’s philosophies…
"Suppose I should git’t fixin’ that, then. Reassume m’own thoughts fer king. Heh. I like that idea. Maybe it’ll keep me from gitten’ in so many damn fights, ‘r somethin’.
"Least keep me from losin’ in the ultimate end, ‘cause if ya cain’t bow t’no one but’ch’erself, yeh ain’t really kneeling when forced down by a stronger ‘ponent, right?”
Starrk stood in silence, dull eyes peering lazily at the other arrancar. His words were something to think about, he knew that much himself. The Primera had dwelled on such thoughts for quite some time after to war, and the conclusion he had reached was clear. Although he stood for no cause, no belief or philosophy. He simply stood for himself. That much was all he needed.
"…Personally, less fighting is a good enough reason for me. I don’t know about you." He uttered in a rather bland tone of voice. One that gave off the feeling of disinterest from the greater hollow. But anyone who had ever heard of Starrk would be smart enough to expect that much.
A nod of agreement was the only reply given to the mammoth’s inquiry. Should you fall to your knees against a more powerful opponent, in truth, you’re not kneeling at all. One dies standing when it is for their belief, no matter their physical state.